In the "On Sex" blog, Terry will be writing regular short pieces covering a wide range of sexual topics. There is a lot to cover, so this should keep him busy for months!
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Enjoy your sex life, whatever form that takes!
Self-Play, or masturbation as it is also commonly called, is an avenue for self-discovery, self-pleasuring, experimentation and learning, and for acting out (or even just dreaming of) fantasies your partner, if you have one, might not be willing to share along with you (yet!) It is the safest form of sex. It is also the least expensive (you don't - necessarily - have to take yourself out on a "date" beforehand...). This is true even if you do buy yourself a nice, fancy toy to play with once in a while!
If you are using various toys, keep them good and clean at all times. Non-silicone dildos and anal toys will last longer and are far more hygienic if you use a condom on them, and the clean-up is then always quick and easy. Silicone toys are by far made out of the best material for sex toys. Silicone toys are non-porous and made of a completely bacteriologically inert material. They can be boiled up to 500-degrees Fahrenheit (like... in an autoclave!) and any cleaner or disinfectant can be used on toys made of silicone, be it alcohol, bleach, or anything else. Because of their expense, buy silicone toys only after you've experimented with non-silicone, less-expensive versions of similar toys and know exactly what you like. The silicone versions you purchase later on will last you years, if not for a lifetime! Elastomer, the material used in toothbrushes, is another excellent material choice.
For anal toys, again the silicone toys rule, not needing a condom on them and still being easy to keep clean and odor-free. There are also hard-plastics (like the Aneros line for male prostate stimulation) made of the same plastics they use for medical implants - again, non-porous and bacteriologically inert. Again, use a condom on any toys made of soft, porous materials. They will last longer, afterwards clean up is quick and easy, and it is the only safe way to play with non-silicone toys used for anal play.
Fantasies drive self-play. Watching a pornographic movie, or reading a sexy story can be the source of your fantasies (we have some here on the site to enjoy), or they can be entirely in your own mind. Even writing-out your own fantasies as stories can be very exciting! Some folks use self-play times to play out their fantasies for such things as cross-dressing, donning kinky-wear like latex or PVC clothing, or sexy leather clothing items. Fetish clothing includes collars, jump-suits, leggings or sexy tops and, of course, sexy lingerie. Mild sensation-play additions such as nipple or clitoral clamps, nipple suction devices, scrotum parachutes with weights, ball stretchers/dividers or a vibrating Adonis pouch, sexy-looking cock-rings, or light-weight clothespins or hair clips for mild S&M self-play stimulation. All of these touches add to the general atmosphere and excitement of self-play! All kinds of sexy toys provide plenty of inspiration!
Sensual self-exploration and discovery is also part of the rich potential that is inherent in self-play. Trying different things that you suspect may be expressions of your fantasies, sensations that you haven't fully explored, or new kinds of toys - all are members of your arsenal for enjoyable adventuring!
Keep in mind that many toys that are new to you will have a "learning curve" coming with them towards discovering their full potential. Many purchasers of Ben-Wa balls, for instance (or their modern relative, Smart-Balls and K-Balls) report not really "getting it" until their third attempt with those toys. The same is true with anal explorations. So, keep at something a few times, and really sensitize yourself to what other ways you can move/flex/position yourself/wriggle/tighten/etc. that make the toy produce a different effect till you get that "aha" moment!
Many folks discover anal play via self-play for their first time, and the same rules apply as found in my article on that subject here elsewhere. Basically: Go slow, and use lots of lube, ultimately using lubricants intended for anal use.
To summarize, self-play is more than simply pleasurable, it is part of an exciting sexual journey. Take your sweet time. Set aside lots of time to really explore yourself and your body's possibilities. You have millions of erogenous zones! Take time to visit several of them!
